Year in review
Looking back, it was a season to remember. As we all know it couldn’t have ended any better… well,
it would have been nice for the opening batsmen to have each scored a double century and then
contribute 5 wickets each in the grand finals, but other than that, the script couldn’t have been written
any better.
Here are some of the highlights…
Start of the season was interesting when the first discussion was around finding a skipper. Long time
skipper Charuka had been given orders from his immigration officer that his visa was going to be
revoked if he didn’t stop spending half the week organising games and the weekend playing – especially
since another kid was due in the middle of the season.
Nirav meanwhile, who was also expecting to take on nappy duties mid-season realised he needed a
good excuse to get to the grounds each weekend. The best excuse was that the guys had elected him
captain and as the captain he was required to be at every match.
This meant we had two confirmed players – the skipper and his deputy. The challenge was to find 9
others. The two veterans started working the phones, calling everyone in the white pages. When they
had no success with local suburbs, they started calling their uncles and aunties…
Uncle Baner came to the rescue and decided to call in a few favours... Baner is known as the Godfather
in some dodgy curry circles and was contacted to supply a few warm bodies… Charuka meanwhile
didn’t want to lose control to the Indian mafia so he approached a few Sri Lankan dodgy brothers and
found a few machangs.
The average age of this lot was 37.5 thanks mainly to Prasad. This resulted in an emergency meeting
that ended in all the aunties and uncles being called back … This time they were asked to volunteer
their sons for an important cause. One of them volunteered their daughter, which is when super star
Ricky became an elite member of squad. Ricky said he had a few friends and a winning team was born.
The senior brains trust held a meeting to develop a winning strategy for the season. They are still
working on this. They realised that some succession planning was needed considering how hard it was
to find 11 players who would show up on time. So all team members were instructed to produce sons
this season.
The team chiefs Nirav and Charuka set the example while future leaders Chani and Dilshan decided
to impress the management by becoming fathers mid-season. Rajitha claimed he too had fathered a
son, but admitted he didn’t remember his son’s name or where he had last left him. He then immediately
went back to sleep, so further discussion was put off till next season.
It was agreed that mandatory practice sessions were unnecessary. It was also decided that the batting
line up was on a first come first serve basis. From that day forward, Ricky showed up at the grounds
before everyone else with his pads on. Baner used his mafia connections and to secure the other
opening spot.
The season didn’t exactly get off to a flyer. Nirav and Charuka had to work the phones at the beginning
of each match trying to find 7 replacement players 10 minutes before the start of each game. Only the
dynamic duo opening pair Ricky and Baner could be counted on to be there at the start of the match.
An emerging strategy of the team was to throw your wicket away and rely on the bowling attack to find
a way to win the match. For instance, at match 3 of the season, we were 4 for 2 (that is 4 wickets for 2
runs) until the there was a solid partnership that got us to a far more respectable 6 for 6. Yet we won
the first innings points at the end of the day. Of course it helped that Prasad tapped into his many many
many years of experience and tonked a century.
Another highlight of the season was the disappearance of long time player and mainstay of the team
– Eddie. After contributing some valuable runs with the bat and byes with the gloves he disappeared
mysteriously last spotted at a pub called “Nooneknows” by no one special.
The season then got some momentum with a few good wins along the way. Baner tonked a brilliant 26
in front of the fanatics – a group of three followers that follow him everywhere!
Eventually the team strategy of using the opening batsmen to see out three or four balls while the other
batsmen padded up was reviewed mid-season. Some bright spark decided to reverse the batting order
to give the tail enders a chance to bat up the order, which they were doing anyway. From that point on,
Baner and Ricky were fighting each other for the # 11 spot.
Baner and Ayesh came together in Game 7 against a very irritating opposition and almost pulled off a
brilliant win. Unfortunately for all concerned we were informed that an almost won is a loss when the
match report submitted claimed that we almost won the game.
The season’s bowling honours were shared between Nirav, Chani, Sacha, Atif and Rajitha – that is
when Rajitha decided to show up. He claims honours on bowling averages but has been duly informed
by the statistician that nobody gives a damn about averages. As we all know Atif won the fastest ball
of the season award on his way home one day. But then he sold his sports car and won slowest fast
bowler of the season award… Nirav got the Mr consistency bowling award in addition to be being the
best bowler of the season. He consistently kept bowling even when he was hammered all around the
park.
Sacha’s express pace, relaxed manner and ability to get wickets when required was a highlight of the
year. Chani who was able to get the ball to turn off the pitch at pace more than any of the spinners was
a handful for most of the league – beating the bat consistently …
Other noteworthy awards go to the likes of Ricky who scored the most runs for the opposition
in just two overs in one match. This opposing batsman was almost recruited to play in the IPL.
On the batting front, well… there weren’t really too many honours to be shared... Prasad claimed
top honours with the most runs all season… his average was very impressive when all his not outs
are taken into account. Unfortunately for him, he too was informed that nobody gives a damn about
averages and that retiring after scoring a hundred is considered out as far as the team is concerned.
This was also a way of ensuring that he doesn’t single handedly get us promoted 4 grades next year.
But it must be noted that Prasad’s average is 50 this season when the not outs are factored in… Even
Ricky Ponting should be batting after Prasad based on that alone! Other noteworthy performers include
Lasith who has made the opening spot his own. Nirav contributed more than a few valuable captain’s
knocks. Ayesh was always worth watching when he rolled up his sleeves, while Chani, Dilshan and
Rajitha contributed a few swashbuckling performances. Let’s not forget Charuka’s batting in the semis
ensured a score that was defendable…
Most importantly the Dias & Las contributed by creating the DL formula that has made it fair for the
batsmen, especially the ones who have struggled to perform…
Sam was voted umpire of the season by all the other teams and was quickly relegated to scoring
duties by our team. Sam was also voted “Mr Selfless” of the year for his dedicated contributions all
season – showing up to the grounds and assisting with a variety of tasks even in games where he was
unavailable to play for the side.
Aneesh also gets an award for trading in nappy duty for a great bowling performance when the team
was short of resources…
Remember the match against the team called Radiant that were not so radiant on the field? After
numerous altercations and lessons on the rules of the game by their skipper we only managed to
post 118 runs… they then got themselves to 105/3 and slowed down at the end of the day to not lose
any more wickets… The following weekend, the skies opened, the thunder roared and the sun set on
what was meant to be a radiant day… Charuka was heard laughing all weekend… He passed on his
condolences to the not so radiant skipper the following weekend when he bumped into radiating team
member at the India / SL match in Canberra… Charuka is still laughing…
Other classic performances include the match where we needed to pull of a miracle. Towards the end
of the season, we had slowly slipped down towards bottom. We needed to pull off a few good wins
to ensure a semi-final spot. A crucial match – Atif’s last match with the team – was against a team of
young guns… It was one of the best matches in a long time. For a change everyone batted well and we
managed to get them to follow on. They then got out late on the second day leaving us about 22 runs
to get in 2 overs on a field that required hitting sixes to get boundaries. Nirav and Prasad decided not to
waste the usual two balls it takes for the openers to go out and come back and asked them to sit back
and enjoy the show…
And what a show it was… they clobbered everything to all parts and got the runs with balls to spare…
The outright win ensured us a semifinal spot albeit the 4th spot!
The semis and finals were amazing with everyone showing up in good force and spirits – Baner
promised to bring drinks and like ducks to water, everyone showed up – early! Practice sessions were
organised during the week that nobody attended… and everyone contributed in one way or another…
Ricky’s catching and Sacha, Chani and Nirav’s bowling got us home… and this was against the team
that was #1 on the ladder. But we knew better…
Then the finals was against a team that we had not beaten all season – which was part of our grand
plan… Our batsmen were on strike this match except for a few stars like Rajitha, Nirav, Prasad and Sam
who are not members of the players union. Then the bowlers and fielders performed like they never
had…
After the grand final was in the bag, the senior brains trust came out and claimed full credit for their
strategy that they are still formulating…
In the end, looking back, the one thing that will be remembered from this season is that 16 guys and one
gal got together at the beginning of the season… they shared a common passion … met once a week
and had a great laugh (with each other, at each other and at themselves)… they did just enough to
make it into the semis… like all great teams that are made of great team members, they then rose to the
occasion and won the bloody trophy… everyone contributed in one way or another… most importantly
at the end of it all they had turned into good mates…
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